“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
― Oscar Wilde
Challenges, pain and suffering; sorrows and disappointments-all immutable parts of life.
As the quote states, these touch us all. The only thing to deal with is why, and what we do with them. It is incumbent to realise that those who are face down in the gutter dwelling upon the wrongs being inflicted upon them, shall, not only never emerge therefrom, but if they do, be fraught with bitterness, resentment, deep-seated anger, etc…
Whilst those who keep their gaze upon the stars, not only find meaning in the suffering, in ‘’being in the gutter’’, but upon emergence, use the lessons gained to spread more lessons and goodwill. Some may even go so far as NOT seeing being in the gutter as necessarily negative. That, however, is a separate matter 😊.
What is the difference between the proverbial superhero and supervillain? We see these archetypes in mythology, comic books, folklore, religion, fables, etc…
Very often, across these platforms, they have similar, nearly identical experiences, and in some cases grow up together and are even related (Sabretooth and Wolverine)! However, the superhero states; ‘’because I have suffered, I shall do my absolute best to spare others from that suffering’’. The villain states: ‘’ As I have suffered, so shall everyone else. None shall be spared’’!
It is not necessarily experiences that determine our end, (though they doubtlessly contribute in shaping us) but how we REACT to them, is potentially a greater contributor.
Should you see yourself as number 1., deserving of every right and privilege, the slightest inconvenience leads to bitterness. But, (from the perspective of yours truly) should you see the Will of God as nr. 1, then your family, community, the greater mankind, then you are earliest nr. 4., or 5., and focused on duties and responsibilities, and ‘’protecting others’’ and keeping your gaze on the stars-a higher purpose. It becomes extremely difficult to fall into the grips of self-pity, anxiety, anger, bitterness, depression, or transforming into a ‘’villain’’.
CHALLENGES are what we need to grow. Pressure builds diamonds, resistance in training makes muscles grow, same is true for emotions, lifestyle, and spiritual difficulties; challenges, or ‘’being in the gutter’’ is how we will grow, provided we do not lose sight of our mission, goal, and keep doing our best-keeping our gaze on the stars (See previous posts on developing healthy habits and staying motivated).
There are myriads of statistics and research projects since the 90s that anyone can find and peruse, that showed stress levels of high school students in the USA, were equal to those of their agemates during the Yugoslav war. Or a major cause of suicide among kids 14-16 in the UK was exams. Currently there is ongoing research that Medscape is to publish about suicide amongst medical students, being the highest among all students. Not to talk of suicide among professionals, with medical doctors ‘’leading’’ the way. However, not to digress, the point being, should one focus on the challenges as an opportunity for growth and strength, as weights in a gymnasium, they shall not break you to the point of suicide. Sure it is more extensive that, but that is the baseline; focusing more on being there for others as your mission, and less on one’s own self, is the basis for help and the rest builds upon this; keep your gaze on the stars, whilst in the gutter!
A kid from war-torn Darfur, if put in a safe US or UK environment, and asked if he would take his own life should he fail the upcoming exams would say no, and simply take them again or turn his attention to other endeavours. Why? Because he would have been challenged to a greater extent, emotionally-hence a failed exam would not be the end of everything.
This is NOT to make light of depression, angst, or suicide, but rather to show the importance challenges, and how we PERCEIVE them, have upon how we REACT to them. Same challenge, different reaction, due to different interpretation, due to different manner in ‘’seeing’’ yourself; as nr. 4 or 5, instead of as nr. 1!
Humility, self-effacement/selflessness, are key. And these must be upheld. Consistency in everything. You do not eat or shower once; same way these must be done daily, so too these qualities must be upheld every second of every minute of every day. It is a constant process, beginning from early on in life.
And the same way we need bigger and heavier weights as our muscles and strength grow in the gym, and must increase our caloric intake; so too as our character gets stronger, shall we encounter greater challenges along the way, and will therefore need even more tools, and greater humility and sharper focus on the stars, to stay our course. Failure to maintain this, is why certain stories begin so well, yet end so poorly-because those involved failed to increase the tools necessary to meet with ever-increasing challenges. Nothing stays the same-this includes challenges. Therefore, our tools for dealing with them must also be enhanced every step of the way. What sufficed yesterday, will not necessarily suffice tomorrow. Like ascending to the next level in a video game😉.
Failure to do this will lead to a failed exam being life-altering and catastrophic (they can be, but should not be the end of our world), and before long, an unanswered text message leading to self-inflicted harm(It happens, sadly). All the while, there are those who lose their spouses, children, in atrocities, who manage to not only survive but help others endure-because they kept and increased their tools of humility, and self-effacement, and focused on their mission and DUTIES, not just on their rights (It happened, let me grow and learn and prevent others from going through the same; not it happened, now to hell with creation, how dare this befalls ME!?!). They kept their gaze upon the stars.
While the children are yet in their infancy feed them from the breast of heavenly grace, foster them in the cradle of all excellence, rear them in the embrace of bounty. Give them the advantage of every useful kind of knowledge. Let them share in every new and rare and wondrous craft and art. Bring them up to work and strive, and accustom them to hardship. Teach them to dedicate their lives to matters of great import, and inspire them to undertake studies that will benefit mankind. – Abdu’l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Baha, p. 129.
”No social stability without individual stability”.
Aldous Huxley
Little unknown by now; and by the same token, much uncertainty. Whether or not one chooses to take things seriousy, the planet is in the grip of a worldwide pandemic due to COVID-19.
Consider when one starts a new activity, athletic or otherwise; sprinting, driving, drawing, painting, etc..all your ”weak spots” feel extra vulnerable as they must be strengthened, since they have not been thus challenged. Patients who contract illnesses where they become immunocompromised often report of ”flare-up pain and tenderness” in areas corresponding with previous injuries. In other words, a new situation, whatever the degree of tragedy, whether voluntary or not, whether self-imposed or not, highlights were we are weakest, and, however painful, is an opportunity for growth and improvement.
One can hold on the the little twig keeping us afloat to the point where one adamantly refuses rescue (See the story of the raft, by The Buddha), or one can use the twig to stabilise, improve, adapt, build a raft, and rescue others; become like Noah!
Every facet of our society proved wanting (even beyond what most people already believed), to varying degrees; the economy, the political landscape, the police/law enforcement agencies, the housing system, agriculture, entertainment, eduction system, healthcare, etc…
No longer can people deny the effects of human involvement in (accelerated) climate change; the planet was breathing better after 6 weeks. No longer can we claim schools and the workplace are family-friendly; over ten million kids in America alone rely entirely on school for meals (let alone many other countries, better and worse). No more denying that the economy is superficially viable and profoundly unjust at its very roots; it took 8 weeks to reach Great Depression levels of damage.
Nobody can argue that ”the governments of the world would NEVER synchronise any single activity!”; they did so overnight when cornered.
History has shown us that people refuse the status quo when their bread and families (children) are taken from them. We are reaching that point faster every day; after 10 weeks or so into the lockdown people complained of freedoms being taken away.
The point being, like an immunocompromised patient, we have been ill for a while, but now our aches are flaring up, and it turns out we have, as a society, many weak spots. Some would say all our spots are weak; it is only a question of HOW weak. This is ongoing practical proof that everything must needs be changed. Nobody and nothing is exempt or spared. Ironically, what is separating us by social/physical distancing aught to bring us closer in the long run. We cannot deny that more unites than divides us, and we have more in common than otherwise. Things shall no doubt get worse before they get better, but they shall get better.
Pressure builds diamonds, true; but once a diamond, you must make a difference, and help carve other diamonds, cut glass, etc… A certain degree of pressure is needed to grow, and a certain degree of stability is needed to exercise growth. A cursory look at many (not all) great minds of people who have achieved some degree of notoriety in technology, sports, science, art, etc.. shows that for all their hardwork and sacrifice, they had some degree of stability; Bill Gates could sit and code 18 hours a day and drink sodas and drop-out of Harvard because both his parents were professionals, and he could focus and work hard and get fruits of his efforts. Mozart grew up in a financially reliable home (He had financial challenges later on of course). Several Nobel laureates had parents who themselves were researchers, and academics. Sure you have orphans and outliers who achieved greatness, but, as aforementioned, there is always a measure of stability. There is a reason societies that have stability can care more about the environment; for every 5,000 USD of GDP the environment proves more important to the denizens of a given nation, we are told.
Stability is what we must achieve as a society; as a culture. We had it superficially, and the pandemic is showing us just that; it was superficial. The illusion of togetherness, accentuated by distractions. And once these distractions were taken away, divorce, child abuse, domestic violence, etc., increased, since the connection was superficial.
Here is a chance to achieve real stability. It does not have to be full lockdown for eternity, or violation of the planet, for instance. A golden middle way of stability, tempered by planning for a better tomorrow, is to be achieved. And the world is showing us this by all these ”flare-ups” in our very many weak spots. Things shall be strained, and tested, and there will be pain. But the angels of our better nature shall prevail.
This is not naive optimism, anymore than a physician treating a patient can be accused of the same. This is realism, tempered by hope, and sobered by experience; recognising that we are in a world of pain, but as many communities do well at a micro level, we can do same at a macro level-we already showed decent synchrony with regards to locking down in itself 🙂
Now, what follows? As the caption states; personal stability is needed before societal stability. And this comes with, as cliché as it may sound, morality, and order in one’s own personal life. Then the ripple-effect shall follow. The world will not be the same, given the economic, political, environmental ripple-effect of all this; not to mention the actual loss of human life. And nothing is over, as of this writing moment, yet. But, we can create our own ripple-effect. Make a difference in our own lives daily, and do our own best morally, and create stability for ourselves and those around us; be the shoulder to cry on instead of crying on a shoulder (after you have cried your piece, should you need to!)
At a macro-level, whatever happens, and however worse things may or may not get, we shall overcome and this too shall pass.
God bless.
Anis' corner 
Recent Comments